A Thinking Man’s Guide to Remembering the Basics

Regularly returning, remembering, and refreshing how we live out the basics is important for spiritual growth. This workbook by Don Allen was originally published as a guest article on the Pneuma Foundation website, the legacy site for the parent organization for PneumaReview.com.

Remember the Basics

“Keep it simple, when you get too complex you forget the obvious.” – Al McGuire

 Al McGuire was a leader both in basketball and in helping change men’s lives. “He led Marquette to 11 straight post-season appearances and a 295-80 record. As the Marquette coach from 1964 to 1977, McGuire placed himself among a select group of coaches to win both the NCAA (1977) and NIT (1970) championships. In 1971, McGuire was named Coach of the Year by the Associated Press, United Press International and the United States Basketball Writers Association (USBWA) following Marquette’s 28 -1 season.”[1]

One basketball historian noted that 26 of McGuire’s players went on to play for the NBA, a major accomplishment for any coach. Yet Al McGuire stayed focused on helping men become better individuals both on the court and in life.

Over the years I have attempted to make my Christian Walk too complex. I have spent time focusing on other people’s opinions of what Godly men should be like, how I should praise Him, what passages of Scripture I should study, which church I should attend, and even sometimes worrying if I’m wearing the right clothes – clothes that would make others happy.

A man’s Christian walk is not complex. It actually needs to be very SIMPLE. Focus on the obvious, first and foremost on your personal walk with Christ. I have found that the old adage “K.I.S.S. … Keep it Simple Somehow” (or as others define it, “Keep It Simple Stupid”) should become a very vital part of a man’s Christian walk.

In my opinion we need to focus on the obvious things in our walk. We should identify three things that we should attempt to focus on daily. I like to think of them as our daily “PAC” (Prayer, Attitude, Commitments). Keeping It Simple Somehow (KISS) has to be a central part of life.

P – Focus on my personal Prayer Time

There are hundreds of opinions of what our prayer time should look like, from kneeling in your prayer closet, speaking in tongues at the church altar, spreading out prostrate on the floor, crying our eyes out and any number of other things. And there is nothing wrong with any of these.

• When you are in your personal prayer time, how do you choose to pray most often?

However, prayer is truly an individual opportunity to spend time with “the King of King and Lord of Lords.” It is our personal time away from others with only us sharing our innermost thoughts with HIM.

Find that place of Prayer that works for you.

• I have heard of men who spend hours in their cars commuting back and forth work. They pray as they drive, and their car becomes their place of solitude and communion with God.
• Some men rise at 4 or 5 in the morning and pray in their basements to start the day.
• Still other men go into their offices extra early and shut the door for 30 to 40 minutes to pray before their workday begins. Some pray at work during their lunch hour.
• Others find a quiet place at night at home and pray.

The Key is: Find a place to pray, make an appointment with God and meet Him there daily. E.M. Bounds[2] wrote about men and prayer, “What the Church needs today is not more machinery or better, not new organizations or more and novel methods, but men whom the Holy Ghost can use — men of prayer, men mighty in prayer. The Holy Ghost does not flow through methods, but through men. He does not come on machinery, but on men. He does not anoint plans, but men, men of prayer.”

• When is your daily prayer time?

• Have you set aside a personal place of prayer?

• Are you personally seeing results from your current pray time?

• If not what needs to change?

• What is stopping you from answered prayer?

The Scripture gives ten reasons why God doesn’t hear prayer

1. Disobedience – Deuteronomy 1:45
2. Secret Sin – Psalm 66:18
3. Indifference – Proverbs 1:28
4. Neglect of Mercy – Proverbs 21:13
5. Despising the Law – Proverbs 28:19
6. Blood-Guiltiness – Isaiah 1:15
7. Instability – Isaiah 16:7
8. Stubbornness  – Zechariah 7:13
9. Self-Indulgence – James 4:3
10. Iniquity (Sin) – Isaiah 59:2

Take time to read each of the verses listed above. Spend some time in prayer asking God’s forgiveness for any obstacles in your way that keep you from approaching the throne room of God in prayer.

A – Focus on my personal ATTITUDE

One of America’s premier pastors and Bible teachers, Chuck Swindoll3 wrote this about attitude. “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company … a church … a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past … we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude … I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you … we are in charge of our attitude.” – Chuck Swindoll[3]

My attitude is directed by my belief system. And it doesn’t matter if those beliefs are right or wrong – they still greatly influence one’s attitude. Professional counselors look at people’s attitudes when they want to discover the motives behind their interactions with others. In the 1950’s, Albert Ellis[4] developed the Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT). This psychological approach examines people’s thinking from this perspective:

• Activating Event
• Beliefs
• Consequence
• Reframing (changing the behavior)

Years ago, I noticed that life is often like a RAFT…

• Relationships are affected by our actions
• Actions are affected by our feelings
• Feelings are affected by our thinking
• Our Thinking affects everything

1. What are some of the Unhealthy or Healthy thinking patterns that affect your feelings?

2. How are these Feelings affecting your actions?

3. Have these Actions affected your Relationships?

A few years ago, I counseled a young couple who were constantly arguing. Their argument was always the same. Dinner wasn’t on the table when he got home from work. This young man grew up in the old Beaver Cleaver world, where mom was a stay-at-home mom and had dinner ready every night right at 5:30 when dad got home. And this young man expected the same. However, he married a young lady who worked full-time and walked in the house only 20 minutes before he did.

What would be your solution for this couple?

Yes, it really does come down to attitude. I worked with this couple and helped them create a schedule. On Sundays they always ate out (money was not an issue). She was responsible to prepare dinner on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. She could cook, bring dinner home, or take him out. In turn, he was responsible for dinner on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.

I saw the couple about four years later and they are still using this same plan. They reported no major fights. Did I mention that this is working with two kids?

Remember it is all about the attitude!

A Great Definition

A great definition about attitude is found on the web at Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

Attitude is a concept in psychology. Attitudes are positive, negative or neutral views of an “attitude object”: i.e. a person, behavior or event. People can also be ‘ambivalent’ towards a target, meaning that they simultaneously possess a positive and a negative attitude.

Attitudes come from judgments. Attitudes develop on the ABC model (affect, behavioral change and cognition). The affective response is a physiological response that expresses an individual’s preference for an entity. The behavioral intention is a verbal indication of the intention of an individual. The cognitive response is a cognitive evaluation of the entity to form an attitude. Most attitudes in individuals are a result of social learning from the environment.

The link between attitude and behavior exists but depends on attitude specificity, attitude relevance, personality, social constraints and timing of measurement. Several things play a role for an attitude to cause a behavior. For example, a person may have a positive attitude towards blood donation but not go to a blood bank to donate blood.[5]

1. What part of your attitude do you need to change?

2. What part of your attitude towards others do you need to change?

C – Focus on my personal Commitments

Commitment means to pledge to something or someone.

• Personal commitment can be dominated by obligations. These obligations may be mutual, or self-imposed, or explicitly stated, or may not be. Distinction is often made between commitment as a member of an organization (such as a sporting team, a religion, or as an employee) and commitments made individually.
• Involuntary commitment, the practice of using legal means or forms to commit a person to a mental hospital, insane asylum or psychiatric ward against the will or over the protests of that person.
• Ontological commitment, belief in an ontology in philosophy.[6]

One definition that stood out to me personally was:

The state of being bound emotionally or intellectually to a course of action or to another person or persons.[7]

For me, commitment is something that I often do without thinking. At other times it is the center of everything I think of. I share a commitment to my beliefs, values, and especially to my family and God. How I share these commitments is a focal point of my life and it determines how other people view me and – most importantly – it determines how God will judge me.

I must look at my commitments through the eyes of others. What would other people (friends, co-workers, family, wife) say about:

• My commitment to God

• My relationship with God

• List a couple of things you feel are important to strengthen your relationship with and your commitment to God.

• List a couple of things that you feel are important in strengthen your relationship/commitment with your family.

• Identify some things that will strengthen your relationship/commitment with:
  • Co-workers

   

   

  • Supervisor

   

   

  • Employer

   

Conclusion:

As you have come to the end of this Thinking Man’s Guide to Remembering the Basics, my prayer continues to be that you will grow in the maturity and understanding of the Lord.

I continue to also pray that you will establish a personal P.A.C. with the Lord and that your Prayer, Attitude and Commitments will be Christ Centered, in all that you do.

Copyright © 2006 (updated 2019) by Rev. Don Allen, Jr., PhD: All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the United States Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.

Notes

[Editor’s note: Some references are no longer up to date.]

[1] http://www.hoophall.com/halloffamers/McGuireAl.htm

[2] Edward McKendree Bounds (1835-1913) It is reported that Rev. Bounds Prayed Daily from 4 A.M. to 7 A.M. before he would begin work on his writings. He was a Methodist Pastor around the time of the American Civil War.

[3] Chuck Swindoll (born October 18, 1934) has pastored First Evangelical Free Church in Fullerton, CA and has served as former President of the Dallas Theological Seminary. He is currently the Seminary’s chancellor. He has authored over 50 books, most of which are based on his radio broadcast, Insight for Living.

[4] Albert Ellis (born 1913) is a psychologist living in New York City. In 1995, he became the founder of the counseling therapy called Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy.

[5] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attitude_(psychology)

[6] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commitment

[7] http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/COMMITMENTS